letter 5
new things.
Hello readers,
Sometimes, it’s the vices that make us human. This is the biggest thing I’ve gleaned from this year. Yesterday, I watched a tarot reading wherein the mystical lady gladly informed me that in this life I am meant to live a life of peace and solitude for in my last one I was bogged in my indulgent ways and too soft with the current of life to change. So in this one I am forced to heal. Forced to give more than I can take so I can finally realize the value of life: dependent on the emotion you bleed. I believe half of that; which half? I’ll let you decide.
I’m writing this on the fly. Lately I have been more open to impulsivity and unplanned events. I think I finally feel still enough to recieve from the world.
Today is January first. I have slept in until 11. Wraped in sheets and unwilling to move. I am chershing the first taste of peace-I’m making new a habit of enjoying things around me. Moments that are happening right now. Being here with the sound of the airconditioner and that cool feeling on the tip of my nose. The day hasn’t started yet. I am only just thinking about the morning. Realising I am awake. It’s the same feeling you get when you’re on vacation. White hotel bed, the sun coming through a gap in the blinds. You know the air outside will be slightly cold and somewhere in the distance the shower is running. Maybe this is what it feels like to be completely unwinded. Not in the way your body surrrenders after tiring physical work. But in the way we all give in when sleep comes and makes the body peaceful for just a moment.
You may have noticed I have been unarchiving some of my old work. There was a time earlier this year I had felt the urge to hide. It has taken a year for me to figure out what that means and I am happy to say that feeling no longer persists. If you were an old fan of my writing, you may expect more like that to come. But there will be other things too, so keep an eye for that.
For a different ending, I’ll leave you with a poem.
Holy animal
I asked my mother to tell me about creation
what she gave me was a story about how the fragments of dying stars
embed themselves into the hot core of planets,
How from craters, forests formed and unfurled.
A green blanket swaddled the blue world.
And from that warmth came animals, creatures big and small.
As she talked I looked up to her eyes, Flickering like two dancing comets.
See you very soon,
-Swan
Reading your letters always pushes the lump in my throat a little further in, to unclog it. I'm being a little kinder to myself, and excited for more letters!